The Thrift Store Incident

About a week go, I had one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life during a trip to my local local thrift store.

side note: Oh Savers, my how my Jewish cheapness loves your chatchkeys (I don't know how to spell that) and random-but much needed-crap.

1:15pm Park car in downtown Phoenix lot and worry for its safety, even though my most valuable possession inside it is a NOW 1 CD from 1993.

1:17pm Walk through the front door and give a friendly smile to the prostitute standing outside talking to her "mama" on her cell phone. (I think she's from that show teen mom?)

1:20pm Head to the kitchen section... I may have been in the market for a toaster.

1:23pm I pick up one such toaster and immediately regret this decision, as I remember that my not-so-cheap boyfriend, Josh, would no longer love me if I brought said disgusting toaster home.

1:23 Put toaster down. Wave goodbye to the $3.99 yellow sticker.

1:25pm Walk through back book alley on my way to womens clothes. Don't judge.

1:26pm As I pass by the shoe aisle, I notice there's a strange water spilling noise to my immediate right.

1:27 Stop to observe said spilling noise.

1:28 Gasp in horror when I realize said spilling noise is a man, 35ish, in swimming trunks with a cart, facing the other direction, peeing on the floor, right next to a pair of green flip flops.

1:29 Stare and comprehend.

1:30 Run to find salesperson. Find an 18-year-old Hispanic girl in a red vest. I point out the defendant in the orange shirt, who has just left the shoe aisle and apologize profusely for relaying such disturbing news.

1:31 She says, "Really?!" and then heads to find a mop as if she's had to deal with this before.

1:32 Exit store. Get back in my car and drive away fast. But hey, at least my NOW CD is still here.

1:35 Call my mother to which she responds, "I was the first person you chose to call and tell this story to?"

1:36 Call Josh. Tell him my thrift store addiction has been broken.


2 Days later...

7:00pm Josh and I buy a new toaster oven from macys. He is relieved. I can't see myself walking into another savers for months. Josh smiles.